What to look for in a therapist for loved ones ages 65 and older

One of the guarantees of aging: You’ll go through lots of changes throughout your life.

For older adults, life transitions such as retirement, mobility issues, or grieving a sudden loss can affect routines, relationships, and mental health. Therapy provides a space to process those changes in a healthy way, helping patients gain resilience and a new perspective.

There are many factors to consider when looking for a therapist for a loved one who is 65 or older. Luckily, you can help them through the search process. Here are some tips for choosing the right therapist to help an older loved one thrive in their golden years.

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They have worked with older adults before.

A therapist that has experience working with older adults may be better equipped to help your loved one through the unique challenges that come with aging. These challenges might include living in a retirement community or assisted living facility, or having frequent hospital visits due to a chronic illness.

You can search for a therapist online and filter the search settings for therapists who have experience working with older populations. Psychology Today’s “Find a Therapist” tool and the American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry are two great places to start.

They have experience helping people through similar issues.

It’s important to know exactly what your loved one is struggling with. That way, you can help connect them with a therapist who has a background in treating people with those same issues.

For example, your loved one may be feeling down after the death of a partner or close friend. In this case, it may benefit your loved one to have a therapist who specializes in helping people who are grieving. Regular feelings of grief are more common among older adults, and more than 70 percent are estimated to have experienced a loss within the last 2.5 years.

Some other common mental health issues among older adults include:

• Addiction
• Anxiety
• Communication issues
• Depression
• Living with chronic illness
• Loneliness
• Relationship issues

Just as you can filter your search results for a therapist who works with a certain age range, you can search for therapists that treat specific mental health conditions.

They come highly reviewed or recommended.

Therapy is a personal experience. Each patient is different, and each therapist is too. With so many options, it can feel overwhelming to try to pick one.

It can help to ask for a recommendation from someone you trust, such as your loved one’s primary care physician, friends, or family members. Discussing therapy with someone you know can help narrow your search and make the process feel less daunting. If your loved one’s preferred therapist is not accepting new patients, you can ask them for a referral to another therapist.

Their treatment approach resonates with your loved one.

Different therapists use different styles of therapy to treat their patients. Many use an approach called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). In CBT, therapists help their patients change negative thinking patterns and develop coping skills.

Other therapists use a more informal counseling approach, allowing the patient to largely lead the discussion. You may want to consider which type of approach your loved one would be most receptive to.

Reading online reviews of therapists can give you an idea of the techniques they use and whether people have found them helpful.

Your loved one feels a connection with them.

Therapy often comes with some heavy conversations that can bring up feelings of grief, anger, or sadness. It’s essential that your loved one feels comfortable around their therapist, in order to have these honest and important discussions with them.

Many therapists offer a complimentary 10- to 15-minute introductory visit to determine whether they’ll be a good fit for your loved one. You can accompany them to this consultation and ask any questions you may have, including:

• What is your educational and professional background?
• What are your cultural and religious identities?
• Do you specialize in treating specific conditions or demographics?

The more your loved one feels comfortable working and interacting with their therapist, the more they will benefit from talk therapy.

Their practice is accessible to your loved one.

Today, many therapists offer virtual sessions, so your loved one can find help from the comfort of their own home. Telehealth therapy is a great option for people with physical disabilities or mobility issues.

On the other hand, some older adults may prefer to see a therapist in person. Having a standing appointment every week is a good way to get them out of the house. It may even help combat loneliness and social isolation, which affects nearly 25 percent of adults ages 65 and older.

If your loved one is interested in virtual therapy, you can help set them up for success by teaching them how to use the technology they’ll need in their sessions. They will likely need a smartphone, laptop, or tablet with a camera.

If they prefer in-person visits, it’s a good idea to make sure the therapist’s office is accessible. You can call ahead of time to ask questions about parking, stairs and elevators, and handicap accessible entrances.

Most therapists’ websites list the types of appointments they offer, whether it’s in-person, virtual, or both.

They participate in your loved one’s health plan network.

Finding a therapist who is in-network with your loved one’s health plan can help keep costs down. Fortunately, there are many available resources to help you find a therapist who accepts your loved one’s health insurance.

Whether your loved one has Medicare, Medicaid, or a different health plan, you can contact their health insurance company and ask for a list of local in-network providers.

Psychology Today’s “Find a Therapist” feature allows you to filter results based on the type of coverage accepted. This information is not always up to date, so it’s worth confirming with a phone call to the therapist’s office.

Helping your loved one connect with a therapist is one of the best things you can do for their mental health. Patience is key here. It may take time to find the right fit. You can use the following directories to jump-start your search:

• Provider finder on Medicare.gov
• State websites for Medicaid recipients
• American Psychological Association’s Psychologist Locator
• American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry index
• Psychology Today’s Find a Therapist tool